Daily Struggles

It's the daily struggles with the complexities of my son's Asperger's that get me down and frustrate me. One minute I am having a conversation with a bright, funny 8 year old and the next I am trying to negotiate with a tantrum throwing, threat making monster. Where's my little boy in there?

These days I am better trained at de-escalating these situations. But that doesn't mean I am always prepared for it. Today is a perfect example. Great day at school, happy to see me as he gets off the bus at daycare. Then a slight misunderstanding and he's off the deep end. How did that happen? It resulted in a run away attempt. Thank goodness for child safety locks on the doors. Then it was over. Like that. We talked some while his younger brother was in speech therapy. I asked him why he said the things he did about running away. He simply said I was mad. He couldn't tell me why though.

Most of these outbursts are like this these days, a flare up, then back to normal. Because of a communication problem. That's what baffles me. We put so much into training and therapy and we only make baby steps. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful for the progress he has made and I know how blessed we are. But that doesn't make this any easier to get my head around.

I don't suppose I ever will. I don't like that my not being careful about my words can cause these incidents, but I cannot always be on and fully aware of the off hand remarks I make. It is simply exhausting.
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